Most people bend the truth occasionally. A small lie to spare someone’s feelings, or a slight exaggeration to avoid an unpleasant task is common. While dishonesty is rarely ideal, frequent lying, especially when coupled with other indicators, could signal a deeper mental health concern. This is where understanding compulsive lying becomes crucial.
A compulsive liar doesn’t just lie often; they feel an overwhelming urge to do so. This behavior persists even when it causes emotional distress, personal risk, and strains relationships, careers, and daily life. Compulsive lying typically begins in adolescence or young adulthood, becoming a deeply ingrained pattern.
Decoding Compulsive Lying: More Than Just a Habit
While “compulsive liar” isn’t a formal diagnosis in the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition), it’s a recognized concept within psychology. Compulsive lying is linked to disrupted thought patterns and belief systems. The term “compulsive” suggests an irresistible urge, pointing to an underlying psychological issue. Therefore, signs of compulsive lying often indicate associated mental health conditions.
The concept of compulsive lying was first explored in 1891 by psychiatrist Anton Delbrück, who termed it pseudologia fantastica. Other names include mythomania and morbid lying. Delbrück’s initial definition emphasized “falsification entirely disproportionate to any discernible end in view, [which] may be extensive and very complicated, manifesting over a period of years or even a lifetime.”
Modern researchers have refined this definition. A 2020 study defines compulsive lying as “a persistent, pervasive, and often compulsive pattern of excessive lying behavior that leads to clinically significant impairment of functioning in social, occupational, or other areas; causes marked distress; poses a risk to the self or others; and occurs for longer than six months.” This study also indicated that 8 to 13 percent of individuals identify as compulsive liars or are identified as such by others.
Key Facts About Compulsive Lying:
Some experts define compulsive lying as occurring five or more times daily, every day, for over six months.
Spotting the Signs: 10 Indicators of Compulsive Lying
How can you identify a compulsive liar? Consistent lying and fabricating stories are primary indicators. Common signs of compulsive lying in adults and young adults include:
- Elaborate Lies: Adding excessive and often unnecessary details to their fabrications.
- Dramatic Storytelling: Narrating unbelievable and highly exaggerated tales.
- Anxiety Display: Appearing nervous or uneasy while speaking, though this isn’t always obvious.
- Defensiveness: Becoming hostile or argumentative when their lies are questioned.
- Story Shifting: Frequently changing their story or becoming evasive when pressed for details.
- Pointless Lies: Lying even when there’s no apparent benefit or reason to do so.
- Lack of Remorse: Seeming indifferent to being caught in a lie or the consequences of their dishonesty.
- Euphoria from Deception: Experiencing a sense of excitement or “high” when successfully deceiving others.
- Plagiarism of Stories: Presenting someone else’s experiences or stories as their own.
- Inconsistent Actions: Behaving in ways that contradict their spoken words or promises.
Compulsive lying can be driven by a specific motive or appear more random. It’s not just the frequency of lies that defines it, but also the distress and potential danger it creates. For instance, a compulsive liar might falsely report suicidal thoughts in therapy, putting themselves at risk based on fabricated information.
Diagnosing Compulsive Lying: Tools and Challenges
Researchers have developed tools like the Survey of Pathological Lying Behaviors (SPL) to assess lying tendencies. The SPL is a nine-item questionnaire using a scale from 1 (strongly disagree) to 7 (strongly agree) to gauge lying behavior. However, the reliability of self-reported questionnaires can be compromised if the individual is dishonest in their responses.
Polygraph tests, commonly known as lie detectors, can also play a role in identifying compulsive lying signs. In this context, the polygraph isn’t necessarily used to detect individual lies, but to assess a person’s ability to manipulate the test. If someone can lie without triggering the polygraph’s indicators, it might suggest a sophisticated level of deception, or potentially, a disconnect from their own truth.
Do compulsive liars believe their own falsehoods? Mental health professionals suggest that many compulsive and pathological liars do, indeed, internalize their fabrications. Repeatedly telling lies can lead to a point where they begin to feel real to the liar. Compulsive liars often construct a fantasy world where their invented “truth” becomes their perceived reality.
Key Facts About Onset:
Compulsive lying behaviors typically emerge between the ages of 10 and 20, according to research in Psychiatric Research & Clinical Practice.
Young woman looking thoughtfully at her reflection in a mirror
Compulsive Lying Compared to Other Forms of Deception
Not all lying is categorized as compulsive. Several types of lying share similarities with compulsive lying but differ in key aspects. These include:
- White Liar: Tells minor untruths to protect the feelings of others, often considered socially acceptable.
- Occasional Liar: Lies sporadically, often to enhance their image or achieve personal goals in specific situations.
- Habitual Liar: Has developed a pattern of lying because it seems easier or more convenient than honesty, though not necessarily compulsive.
- Prolific Liar: Lies frequently but may not experience significant distress or perceive the same level of danger as compulsive liars, often more calculated.
Regardless of the classification, persistent dishonesty often indicates underlying mental health challenges and a lack of self-acceptance. Furthermore, research suggests a neurological component to compulsive lying. Brain imaging studies have revealed structural differences in the brains of pathological liars compared to those who do not exhibit such behavior.
The Ripple Effect: How Compulsive Lying Damages Relationships
Predictably, compulsive liars often struggle with interpersonal relationships, both friendships and romantic partnerships. Those on the receiving end of compulsive lying often sense that something is amiss early on. Consistent deception erodes trust, leading to frustration, anger, hurt, and confusion.
Building trust with a compulsive liar is incredibly challenging, if not impossible. It can create a dynamic akin to gaslighting, where you constantly question your own perceptions and reality. Compulsive lying can also be a component of abusive relationship patterns, used as a tool for manipulation and control.
The area of greatest impairment in functioning for those in the PL group was in social relationships. This finding was not surprising, because deception often damages trust, especially when used to conceal a transgression.
Drew Curtis, PhD, and Christian Hart, PhD Psychiatric Research and Clinical Practice journal
Unraveling the ‘Why’: Root Causes of Compulsive Lying
Compulsive lying in adults and young adults is frequently linked to various mental health disorders and underlying psychological issues.
Lying as a Compulsion or Learned Behavior
Lying can become a compulsion, similar to those experienced in obsessive-compulsive disorder. Research published in Nature Neuroscience indicates that the more someone lies, the easier it becomes to continue lying. This study describes a “slippery slope” effect, where small lies can escalate into larger, more frequent deceptions.
Personality Disorders and Compulsive Lying
Compulsive lying can be a symptom of antisocial personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder. Individuals with these disorders may lie to gain admiration, manipulate others, or maintain a false sense of superiority. Signs of compulsive lying are also seen in borderline personality disorder (BPD). In BPD, lying often serves as a defense mechanism against perceived rejection or abandonment.
Munchausen Syndrome and Deception
Individuals with Munchausen syndrome, a psychological disorder where someone feigns illness for attention, may engage in compulsive lying directly related to their condition. This involves lying about their own health or the health of someone in their care, such as a child or patient.
Childhood Trauma and the Roots of Deception
In some cases, compulsive lying is rooted in childhood trauma, including neglect or abuse. Children who experienced unmet needs may develop lying as a coping mechanism to seek the attention, love, and reassurance they lacked. They might internalize negative messages about their worthiness, leading them to lie to conceal perceived flaws and feel more deserving of affection.
Navigating Interactions: Dos and Don’ts When Dealing with a Compulsive Liar
If you are in relationship with someone who consistently lies, here are some strategies for managing this challenging behavior:
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Don’t expect them to confess to lying, even with proof. Compulsive liars often double down on their stories, regardless of evidence.
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Don’t personalize it—remember, their behavior is driven by underlying issues, not necessarily directed at you.
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Don’t rely on typical cues of deception like lack of eye contact. Compulsive liars may be skilled at maintaining eye contact while lying, or may genuinely believe their fabrications.
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Don’t lose your temper. Confrontation and anger can make them more defensive and potentially worsen the lying behavior.
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Do trust your instincts and your sense of reality. Seek external validation from trusted others if you doubt yourself.
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Do focus on their actions rather than their words to understand their true character. Nonverbal cues and consistent behavior patterns often reveal more than spoken words.
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Do establish clear boundaries about what you are willing to accept in the relationship. Consider distancing yourself if the lying persists and the person is unwilling to seek help.
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Do encourage them to seek therapy to understand the roots of their behavior and develop healthier communication patterns. Consider therapy for yourself as well, to learn coping strategies and maintain your well-being.
Path to Healing: Treatment for Compulsive Lying
Addressing compulsive lying effectively requires treating the underlying mental health issues driving the behavior. Therapy is crucial for helping individuals become aware of their lying patterns and the reasons behind them. It can build motivation for change and equip them with healthier ways to express their needs and emotions.
At Newport Institute, young adults are guided to explore and address childhood trauma that may be contributing to their behaviors. They learn to replace maladaptive coping mechanisms like lying, substance abuse, and self-harm with constructive skills for self-regulation and emotional expression. In a supportive environment that emphasizes honesty and openness, clients develop authentic connections with themselves and others.
If you or someone you know is struggling with self-destructive behaviors or displaying signs of compulsive lying, contact us today to learn more about our specialized model of care and how we support young adults on their journey to lasting healing.
Key Takeaways:
- Compulsive lying, while not a formal diagnosis, indicates underlying psychological distress that fuels deceptive behavior.
- Compulsive lying is often defined by frequent lying (five or more times daily for over six months) and the significant disruption it causes.
- It’s important to differentiate compulsive lying from other types of lying, such as habitual or white lies, as the underlying causes and implications differ.
- Childhood experiences, particularly unmet needs and trauma, can be significant contributing factors to compulsive lying.
- Therapy focused on addressing root causes, such as trauma and mental health disorders, is essential for treating compulsive lying and fostering healthier behaviors.
Frequently Asked Questions About Compulsive Lying:
How can you identify a compulsive liar? Key signs include fabricating dramatic stories, constantly changing stories, lying without reason, taking credit for others’ stories, and defensiveness when confronted about lies.
What are common indicators someone is lying in general? While not specific to compulsive lying, general signs of deception can include inconsistencies in their story, avoiding direct answers, and changes in body language. However, these are not definitive and can be misleading.
Which mental health conditions are associated with compulsive lying? Compulsive lying can be a symptom of obsessive-compulsive disorder, antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and Munchausen syndrome by proxy.
What differentiates a compulsive liar from a pathological liar? While often used interchangeably, some differentiate them by the randomness of the lying. Compulsive lying may appear more driven by an irresistible urge, while pathological lying can sometimes be more purposeful, though both are rooted in psychological distress.
What are the underlying motivations for a compulsive liar? Often, compulsive lying stems from deeper issues like personality disorders, other mental health conditions, and past trauma. Individuals may use lying as a misguided attempt to gain acceptance, sympathy, or social status they crave.
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Co-Occurring Disorders / November 14, 2022
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