In the harrowing narrative of “A Child Called It“, David Pelzer recounts a childhood marked by unimaginable abuse at the hands of his mother, Catherine Roerva Christen Pelzer. While the book details the horrific events, it doesn’t explicitly diagnose Catherine’s mental state. This article delves into a potential Dave Pelzer Mother Diagnosis, exploring whether Catherine’s behaviors, as depicted in Pelzer’s memoir, align with the characteristics of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Drawing parallels between Catherine’s actions and professional insights into BPD, particularly utilizing resources like Lawson’s “Understanding the Borderline Mother“, we aim to build a case for a potential BPD diagnosis, focusing on the “Witch” archetype often associated with this disorder.
Central to understanding a possible dave pelzer mother diagnosis is recognizing the radical shift in Catherine’s demeanor described by David Pelzer. Initially portrayed as a loving mother, her transformation into a figure of terror is stark and unsettling. Pelzer himself uses potent imagery, labeling his mother a “wicked witch” (pg 30), a description that resonates deeply with the “BPD Witch” archetype as defined by Lawson. This archetype is characterized by “annihilating rage,” an “inner experience [of] the conviction of being evil,” and behavior designed to evoke absolute submission. Lawson elaborates, “She is filled with self-hatred and may single out one child as the target of her rage. The Witch’s message to her child is: Life is war” (pg 38).
The overwhelming rage attributed to Catherine throughout “[A Child Called It]” is palpable. Each page recounts instances of her relentless cruelty towards David, a daily barrage of physical, emotional, and psychological torment. Her own words, “Now it’s time I showed you what hell is like!” (pg 41), echo the “conviction of being evil” described by Lawson. Catherine’s behavior was explicitly designed to break David’s spirit and force him into submission. Pelzer poignantly describes his soul being “consumed in a black void” (pg 132) under the weight of her abuse, highlighting the profound emotional devastation he endured. Furthermore, Catherine’s self-destructive tendencies, evidenced by her alcoholism and neglect of her personal appearance (“Her once beautiful, shiny hair is now frazzled clumps… She is overweight, and she knows it. In all, this has become Mother’s typical look” pg 5), point to deep-seated self-hatred, a core component of the BPD Witch archetype. The pattern of singling out one child for abuse, another hallmark of the BPD Witch, is also tragically evident in Catherine’s treatment of David. For an extended period, he was the sole target, and even after he was removed from the home, this pattern reportedly shifted to a younger sibling, suggesting a consistent dynamic of targeted rage.
Within the framework of this potential dave pelzer mother diagnosis, David’s role in Catherine’s distorted reality becomes clearer. He was designated the “no-good child,” a label relentlessly reinforced by Catherine. Despite his efforts and achievements, he was consistently denigrated. This is exemplified by numerous instances:
- Catherine forced David to repeatedly declare “I’m a bad boy” while looking in the mirror (pg 31).
- Even when David excelled academically, she undermined him, holding him back in first grade and reiterating his “bad boy” status (pg 36).
- He was excluded from Christmas celebrations, with Santa reserved for “good boys and girls” (pg 38).
- Catherine blamed David for making her life a “living hell” (pg 41) and contrasted him negatively with his siblings, labeling him the “bad boy” (pg 43).
- In a particularly cruel instance, even when David was honored by naming the school newspaper, Catherine responded with a torrent of abuse: “There is nothing you can do to impress me! Do you understand me? You are a nobody! An IT! You are nonexistent! You are a bastard child! I hate you and I wish you were dead. Dead! Do you hear me? Dead!” (pg 140).
This relentless negative labeling and devaluation are consistent with the BPD Witch’s projection of her own self-hatred onto the chosen child.
The “life is war” message, central to Lawson’s description of the BPD Witch, was undeniably communicated to David. He recounts, “For the first time, I had won! Standing alone in that damp, dark garage, I knew, for the first time, that I could survive. I decided that I would use any tactic I could think of to defeat Mother or to delay her from her grizzly obsession” (pg 43). This reflects a child forced into a constant state of survival against a perceived enemy – his own mother. The “prisoner of war” position Catherine frequently forced upon David (pg 50, 84, 111, 114, 123), sitting on his hands with his head forced back, physically manifested this war-like dynamic. Lawson notes, “The Witch’s children feel like prisoners of a secret war” (pg 125), further solidifying this parallel. Catherine’s own history, including childhood trauma and substance abuse, provides context for her potential BPD. Her alcoholism, starting at age 13, and experiences of neglect and verbal abuse in her own childhood (“frequently locked in a closet, denied food, and told how despicable she was”) align with the backgrounds often associated with individuals who develop BPD, particularly those who manifest the “Witch” archetype, characterized by self-hatred stemming from early experiences with hostile or sadistic caregivers (Lawson, pg 131).
The sadistic control and punitive nature of the BPD Witch, where children live in fear for their survival, are starkly illustrated in Catherine’s abuse. Lawson emphasizes the extreme nature of abuse inflicted by such mothers, stating, “Therapists hear horrifying stories of child abuse that never make the headlines… Some children may not survive simply because they are too young to get away” (pg 122). David Pelzer’s survival is, indeed, remarkable. His narrative is punctuated by his own recognition of the need to survive. He vowed early on, “I knew, for the first time, that I could survive. I decided that I would use any tactic I could think of to defeat Mother… I knew if I wanted to live, I would have to think ahead… I could never give in to her. That day I vowed to myself that I would never, ever again give that bitch the satisfaction of hearing me beg her to stop beating me” (pg 43). This survival instinct was a recurring theme, even when facing near-death experiences like being stabbed: “I wanted to lie down and quit, but the promise I made years ago kept me going. I wanted to show The Bitch that she could beat me only if I died, and I was determined not to give in, even to death” (pg 91). Other instances highlighting this survival focus include:
- His understanding that “water was my only means of survival” during periods of starvation (pg 104).
- His realization that “to survive her new game, I had to use my head” when subjected to chlorine gas (pg 108).
- Even in moments of despair, like when forced to sit on rocks in the POW position, his struggle was for “mere survival” (pg 111).
The secrecy and isolation that often accompany abuse perpetrated by a BPD Witch are also evident in Catherine’s behavior. Lawson explains, “Because the Witch emerges when the mother and child are alone, no witnesses can verify the child’s experience” (pg 125). Catherine consistently abused David when others were absent, meticulously concealing her actions from the outside world and even other family members. David notes, “I knew Mother never acted this bizarre when anyone else was in the house” (pg 42). Examples of this pattern include:
- Catherine stopping her attempt to burn David on the stove when his brother Ron arrived home (pg 42).
- The cessation of the diaper-eating abuse when Ron, Stan, and their father returned to the vacation cabin (pg 57).
- David’s reliance on his father’s presence as a form of protection, as the abuse was less intense when he was home (pg 101).
- His anticipation of escalated abuse when his brothers were not home from school.
- The ammonia-feeding incident occurring after his brothers went to bed (pg 73).
- David explicitly stating that “When [Father] was home, Mother only did about half the things that she did when he was gone” (pg 101).
This pattern of abuse occurring primarily in isolation and being concealed from others is a significant aspect of the BPD Witch dynamic.
The cruelty inherent in the BPD Witch archetype manifests in Catherine’s verbal and emotional abuse. While other children in the family may not be targeted, the chosen child bears the brunt of the mother’s rage. Statements like “I’m going to make your life a living Hell” or “I’m going to kill you” (Lawson, pg 137) are characteristic. Catherine uttered both of these to David: “Now it’s time I showed you what hell is like!” (pg 41) and “If you don’t finish on time, I’m going to kill you” (pg 85), the latter repeated for nearly a week (pg 86). The need for power and control is paramount for the BPD Witch, coupled with a need to elicit fear and shock. Catherine’s behavior was overtly power-driven, reducing David to a “slave” (pg 50, 84, 126), an “it” (pg 140), and “the boy” (pg 50). She controlled every facet of his existence, from his chores to his meager meals. This pathological need for control transformed their home into a “madhouse” (pg 104) and “hell house” (pg 137), and David’s life into a “morbid life” (pg 116), leaving him feeling as though his soul was trapped in a “black void” (pg 132). The shocking and fear-inducing nature of her abuse is undeniable. He endured confinement in the basement, unpredictable beatings (“ten rounders” (pg 111), dog chains (pg 116), broom handles (pg 117)), and constant terror. He experienced extreme fear, marked by physical symptoms like shaking, inability to concentrate, and heart palpitations. The shocking acts of abuse he suffered – ammonia ingestion, chlorine gas exposure, submersion in cold water, burns, dislocation, stabbing, broken teeth, forced consumption of soiled diapers and rotten food – are a testament to the extreme cruelty he endured.
Resistance to the BPD Witch’s control typically results in escalated punishment, but David, in his desperate attempt to survive, learned to comply. He understood the rules of Catherine’s “game” and the consequences of disobedience: food deprivation for slow chores, slaps for unauthorized glances at siblings, and “hideous punishment” for stealing food (pg 83). David’s compliance was a survival strategy. He recounts, “It was made very clear that getting caught sitting or lying down in the basement would bring dire consequences. I had become my Mother’s slave” (pg 50). He endured horrific “punishments” without overt resistance, including chlorine gas exposure, icy water baths followed by exposure to freezing temperatures, and prolonged periods in the POW position. However, a single instance of defiance (“decided to not ‘take anybody’s crap anymore'” (pg 142)) resulted in brutal retaliation: beatings from his brothers and mother, intensified chlorine gas exposure, and choking, demonstrating the severe repercussions of challenging her control.
Intentional deprivation and destruction of valued objects are further tactics of the BPD Witch. Catherine deliberately withheld essential necessities from David, most notably food. He suffered severe starvation, surviving on scraps and resorting to desperate measures to find sustenance: taking other children’s lunches (pg 48), stealing from stores (pg 59), consuming frozen cafeteria food (pg 63), begging for food (pg 69), and even scavenging from the basement (pg 79). He ate garbage (pg 62) until Catherine contaminated it with ammonia or rotten food (pg 63). She also engaged in psychological torture, teasing him with food only to snatch it away (pg 105-107). Upon discovering he had eaten frozen cafeteria food, she forced him to vomit, then made him eat the vomit (pg 66-68), demonstrating a shocking level of cruelty and degradation. Beyond food, Catherine also withheld hygiene and appropriate clothing. David was ostracized for his odor, nicknamed “David Pelzer-Smellzer,” and teachers reacted negatively to his smell. He was consistently dressed in tattered, ill-fitting clothes, even when new clothes were available in the house.
- David describes, “Because my Mother had me wear the same clothes week after week, by October my clothes had become weathered, torn, and smelly” (pg 47).
- He notes, “In September, I returned to school with last year’s clothes” (pg 57).
- He reveals that newer clothes were available but withheld: “One Sunday during the last month of summer … Mom let me put on new clothes that I had received last Christmas” (pg 123).
- At the time of his rescue, his clothes were in tatters: “My long sleeve shirt has more holes than Swiss cheese. It’s the same shirt I’ve worn for about two years. Mother has me wear it every day as her way to humiliate me. My pants are just as bad, and my shoes have holes in the toes. I can wiggle my big toe out of one of them” (pg 6).
This deliberate deprivation of basic needs and decent clothing served to further isolate and humiliate David.
The BPD Witch often engages in a “campaign of denigration,” enlisting others to turn against her target. Lawson states, “She may seek out friends, family members (including siblings and children), and co-workers of her victim in whom to confide fabricated stories designed to discredit her enemy” (pg 141). Catherine actively denigrated David, turning his family, school, and community against him. She portrayed him as a thief and “bad boy” to school officials and neighbors, successfully isolating him and undermining potential sources of help. This manipulation of others, fueled by the BPD mother’s intense emotions, can be highly effective in isolating the victim. The BPD Witch also violates boundaries, denying the child privacy and subjecting them to humiliation and degradation.
- Catherine stripped David naked, leaving him “shook from a combination of fear and embarrassment” (pg 40).
- For months, he was forced to sleep under the breakfast table near a cat litter box, using newspapers as bedding (pg 68).
- After forcing him to drink dish soap, Catherine refused him bathroom access, leading to public humiliation: “I stood downstairs, afraid to move, as clumps of the watery matter fell through my underwear and down my pant legs, onto the floor. I felt so degraded; I cried like a baby. I had no self respect of any kind… I felt lower than a dog” (pg 77).
- While submerged naked in the bathtub as punishment, his brothers would enter, stare, and turn away in disgust (pg 113).
- David describes his resulting state of dehumanization: “I ate like a homeless dog, grunted to communicate, didn’t care if I was made fun of, and nothing was below me” (pg 132).
- At his lowest point, he even wished for death (pg 141).
This pattern of humiliation and boundary violation is characteristic of the BPD Witch’s cruelty.
Lawson describes the BPD Witch often marrying a “Fisherman,” a passive, easily dominated partner, which aligns with the portrayal of Stephen Pelzer, David’s father. Stephen was “completely dominated and controlled by Catherine,” a “subservient partner who relinquished his will at her command” (Lawson, pg 179). Such husbands often lack self-esteem, see themselves as failures, and crucially, fail to protect their children from abuse. Stephen’s inaction is evident throughout David’s ordeal:
- Initially, Stephen offered David scraps of food and attempted to intervene, but his efforts were quickly suppressed by Catherine.
- As arguments between Catherine and Stephen escalated, Stephen became increasingly absent and withdrawn, failing to protect David.
- When David was forced to eat his own vomit, Stephen “stood like a statue,” passively watching after a feeble attempt to dissuade Catherine (pg 66-67).
- Stephen similarly stood by when Catherine denied David bathroom access, forcing him to use a bucket (pg 77).
- Stephen’s initial attempts to help David with chores were also shut down by Catherine, after which he “gave up” entirely (pg 101-102).
- Even after David was stabbed, Stephen offered no reaction or support (pg 90-91).
David’s disillusionment with his father is clear: “I knew that Mother controlled him like she controlled everything that happened in her house… All my respect for my Father was gone” (pg 90-91). Stephen’s ultimate abandonment of the family (pg 151) left David completely vulnerable to Catherine’s abuse.
Marsha Linehan, in “Cognitive Behavioral Treatment of the Borderline Patient“, highlights the BPD individual’s ability to present a facade of normalcy to the outside world. This “normalcy” can mask the underlying pathology, leading others to misinterpret the situation. Catherine exhibited this ability, presenting a charming and capable persona in social settings:
- As a Cub Scout den mother, she was admired by other children who wished their own mothers were like her (pg 39).
- She effectively manipulated school authorities, appearing cooperative and concerned while perpetuating the abuse at home (pg 53).
- In the presence of neighbors, she played “the role of the loving, caring parent” (pg 122).
- She maintained a deceptive facade for visiting relatives, such as David’s grandmother (pg 126).
This discrepancy between Catherine’s public persona and her private cruelty further complicates understanding the reality of David’s experience for those outside the immediate family.
Despite the horrific abuse, children of BPD mothers often maintain a distorted hope for maternal love and reconciliation. Lawson notes, “children have faith in their parents and believe in their greater wisdom. No child wants to believe that his mother is capable of brutality” (pg 273). David’s narrative reveals this tragic hope:
- After being stabbed, he initially misinterpreted Catherine’s subsequent behavior as compassion and a sign of reconciliation (pg 94).
- He even felt “safe knowing she was nearby to watch over me” despite the life-threatening attack (pg 95).
- Prior to a Social Services visit, Catherine manipulated David into believing the abuse was over and that she would become a good mother, leading him to call her “Mom” again (pg 123).
- Even after being dehumanized and called “It,” David continued to seek her approval: “I gave all that I could to accomplish anything possible for her recognition. But again, I failed. Mother’s words were no longer coming from the booze; they were coming from her heart” (pg 141).
This persistent hope for maternal love, even in the face of extreme abuse, underscores the complex psychological dynamics at play.
In conclusion, analyzing Catherine Pelzer’s behavior through the lens of Borderline Personality Disorder, particularly the “Witch” archetype, provides a compelling framework for understanding the horrific abuse detailed in “[A Child Called It]”. Catherine’s actions align with the maternal functioning characteristics often associated with BPD mothers, including:
- Confusing her child
- Not apologizing for or remembering inappropriate behavior
- Expecting to be taken care of
- Punishing or discouraging independence
- Envying, ignoring, or demeaning her children’s accomplishments
- Destroying, denigrating, or undermining self-esteem
- Expecting children to respond to her needs
- Frightening and upsetting children
- Disciplining inconsistently or punitively
- Feeling left out, jealous, or resentful if child is loved by someone else
- Using threats or abandonment (or actual abandonment) to punish the child
- Not believing in her children’s basic goodness
- Not trusting her children
Catherine’s behavior, as recounted by David Pelzer, tragically embodies each of these points. Furthermore, as a potential BPD Witch, she conveyed devastating messages to David:
- I could kill you
- You will be sorry
- You won’t get away with this
- You deserve to suffer
- I’d be better off without you
- You’ll never escape my control
- It’s my right as your parent to control you
- I’m going to make you pay
David Pelzer’s childhood was, as Lawson describes for children of BPD Witches, a “hopeless situation.” Yet, through incredible resilience, intelligence, and determination, he survived. Despite the vile words and heartless actions of his mother, David emerged not only as a survivor but as an inspiration, demonstrating the extraordinary capacity for human resilience even in the face of unimaginable trauma potentially stemming from undiagnosed mental illness like Borderline Personality Disorder in a parent.
